(A/N: This might be triggering for some people, so just a warning ahead. Remember, it's not consent if someone's intoxicated, and it's not consent if someone has to lie to get it. I love you. It gets better.
Also, read over at Hide and Seek so everything makes more sense.)
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When what we love we burn
Also, read over at Hide and Seek so everything makes more sense.)
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When what we love we burn
It's from the ashes that we yearn
To be the phoenix that rises up from the flames
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Shouting from the other room filtered into her bedroom, her parents arguing, again, about stupid shit, again. The fighting would have torn her apart by now, but she built a wall, one she was never going to let break.
She was going to protect herself from pain by making sure she never felt a thing.
Liza started typing again, a couple words finding their way onto the page before a crash was heard from the room below. Liza jolted out of her seat, closing her laptop and putting it in her bag. She groaned in frustration, pulling her bag over her shoulders and opening the window, climbing down and dropping onto the grass.
Liza pulled out her cell phone, dialing the long-familiar number and pressing it to her ear, walking to her car and opening to door. The line clicked and the other person mumbled "what's up?"
"Hey, Nico." Liza started the ignition, the engine purring to life as she pulled out of the driveway, the car driving down the road on it's way to her destination. "If you're busy, cancel your plans. I'm coming over."
Nico knew better than to argue, so he just grumbled in agreement, hanging up and leaving Liza silent in her drive. She zoned out in her drive, the road so familiar she could drive it without thinking.
Her parents were constantly fighting, her father constantly cheating, but they wouldn't call it quits. They wouldn't just hang up the fucking towel and get divorced.
She blocked herself off, the only thing that could make her feel anymore was sex. She didn't care who it was with, where, why, as long as she was getting her fix, she didn't mind.
Her car pulled into the driveway that led to Nico's home, parking quickly and turning off the engine. She grabbed her bag and stepped off the car, looking for his parent's cars and heading inside when she didn't see them, climbing the flight of stairs that led to his room.
She pushed the door open, putting her bag on the ground and walking over to his bed, where Nico was laying, playing on his phone. She reached over, taking his phone out of his hands and moving on top of him, heading in for a kiss before Nico stopped her, pushing her off of him.
"Wait, Liza, that's not what I wanted to do."
Liza sighed from above, falling off of him and onto the bed. They hadn't done anything for weeks, because Liza was too wrapped up in the stress of her family and finals, and Nico had been too wrapped up in...
"Eden?" Liza asked, annoyed at the fact that she hadn't noticed it before. She knew they were banging, but she never noticed how serious he was about her.
"Yeah. We're... I dunno. We're complicated." Nico turned to face her, sighing. He really liked Eden, a lot more than he should, but she never let anyone in. She pushed everyone away.
"Well, this trip was... pointless. I'll call Max, I guess. At least he doesn't have stupid emotions." Liza pushed herself off the bed, leaning against the wall as Nico sat up.
"Liza. You're welcome to stay and talk, if you want."
Liza scoffed at his suggestion, grabbing her bag from off the ground and stepping out of the room.
"Too bad I don't."
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Nico slammed the door to Eden's house, the anger, the hurt he felt, burning inside of him, eating him alive. He fell too hard for the girl who can't fall at all.
He should have known better. Eden was a disaster, destroying everything she touched. There was no way he could fix that.
But he damn sure tried. He tried to see past the walls, the cracks, the thorns. He almost thought he did, until she slept with Max, of all people.
Nico dug through his pockets, pulling out his phone and dialing the person best for this situation.
"Hey, Jonas. You got any more x? I need some. Badly."
The voice on the other side spoke through, voices in the background chattering through. It took Nico a moment to place why there were voices, until he realized that Jonas was at a party. Of course, because where else would a drug dealer be.
"Yeah, I'm, uh, I'm actually-fuck, hold on..." Nico heard a bunch of clatter on the other end, and then silence. "Yeah, I've got some. I'm at a party, want me to hold on to a couple?"
Nico mumbled out a confirmation and you could practically hear Jonas's grin on the other side. "Awesome, so, how many of you?"
Nico shook his head, walking to his car and opening the door. "No Thomas, sorry. Just me."
Jonas chuckled on the other end as Nico started the engine. "Well, tell him to actually try talking to me sometimes. Watching him stare at me from across the lunch table is amusing and all, but it's not enough." Nico let out a laugh, putting the park in reverse when Jonas finally chimed in. "Oh, right, by the way, I'm at a party in, uh, who's house... hold on, Liza knows, she brought me."
Nico felt a pang in his stomach, the anticipation of the answer overwhelming him for just a moment. Nico could hear Liza's voice in the background, a quiet mumble.
"Max something or another, she says you should know which one. I'll be here, just... Text me. I'll bring it to you."
Nico smirked as an idea formulated in his head. "Perfect." He slid the end call button, setting his phone down and driving towards the place he's only been a couple times.
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-You love me.-
Eden's text vibrated through his phone, the conversation they were having showing on his screen like a bad taste in his mouth. He'd come here to get high and confront Max, and that's what he did. Get high, anyway. He couldn't find the asshole anywhere.
He typed out a couple more texts, pressing send without regret.
-Does it matter what I say? We both know.-
Liza laughed with Jonas at some stupid joke they were probably going to forget in five minutes. Nico leaned forward, shoving his phone in his pocket when a response never came.
"Guys, where's Max? I need to speak to him."
Liza pointed to a staircase, laughing more at the joke from earlier. "In his bedroom, probably. Only room up there."
Nico thanked her, picking himself up off the couch and hurrying up the stairs, looking for the room that he was in before being stopped by a blonde that he was sure to recognize, in a second.
"Hey, Nico." She smirked at him, a knowing, calculating look on her face. "You lost?"
Nico shook his head, trying to walk past her but being stopped by her hand on his chest. "I'm looking for Max. You seen him... Sarah?" The name clicked, finally, and he finally knew where he recognized her from. She was Eden's best friend.
"No, I haven't. I think he bailed... Probably to see Eden, no doubt." Sarah said it so casually, but the knives in his chest just dug even deeper with the words. "She's never going to love you, you know. She's incapable of it. Nothing's going to change that... Not even giving Max a long deserved beating."
Nico's heart felt like it was feeling way too much, yet not at all. The words Sarah had told him ripping out every piece of him, only to put it back in a different order. The drugs, the alcohol, everything taking over him, overwhelming him like a hurricane. Sarah hooked a finger under the front of his jeans, pulling him lightly, not enough to move him, but enough to indicate where she was pulling him to.
The bedroom. And suddenly, his brain turned off. He needed a distraction, and if Eden wasn't going to respond to his texts, if she was going to sleep with Max, if she was going to use him like she has been, then surely, whatever he would do wouldn't matter.
Because it's not like they were together.
Because it's not like they were in love.
Because it's not like he fucking mattered to her at all.
Nico followed Sarah's direction, letting the door fall shut behind them.
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Nico fastened his belt and sighed, reaching for his shirt and pulling it on. For the first time, ever, he felt disgusted with himself. Full of regret. He glanced over at Sarah for a second, before turning away.
"Eden's gonna be so pissed." Nico choked out, his throat hoarse from the different emotions that was swirling inside him. "She better not fucking find out. This was... a mistake. Such a mistake."
Nico pushed the bedroom door open, Sarah following him out and down the stairs, trying to say something that was lost in the crowd, something he didn't really care about hearing. He got to the last couple of steps before noticing the girl already standing there.
The girl he was trying to avoid hurting.
The girl who he just screwed everything up with.
Eden's face said more than words ever could, did more damage to him than he ever thought a look could do. His heart shattered, the numbness of the drugs and sex breaking the moment he laid eyes on her.
"There's only one thing up those stairs. One room. Are you serious? Nico?"
The words stabbed him like shattered glass, raining over him and pressing into every existing cut and making new ones. The girl behind him tried to speak up, tried to say something, but Nico didn't hear it. He didn't register the words, her being interrupted, her leaving. He couldn't.
"Eden..."
The words escaped his lips before he even had time to think about it, reaching forward before he could stop himself. He had to try to fix this. Had to try to do something.
He could see Liza and Jonas leaning against the wall, watching sympathetically, and he almost wanted to laugh. Of course they were still here. Of course they had to see this.
Eden backed up to avoid his grasp, the movement so simple, yet caused so much damage.
"No. You don't get to touch me. Not anymore."
Nico watched as she left the house, the rest of the room watching as if it was the new hit television show. Nico moved through the crowds and out of the house, Liza and Jonas following him, trying to make something better, at least. Liza led him to her car when they caught up with him, Nico sliding into the front seat, not a word being shared between them.
The silence in the car was deafening.
She blocked herself off, the only thing that could make her feel anymore was sex. She didn't care who it was with, where, why, as long as she was getting her fix, she didn't mind.
Her car pulled into the driveway that led to Nico's home, parking quickly and turning off the engine. She grabbed her bag and stepped off the car, looking for his parent's cars and heading inside when she didn't see them, climbing the flight of stairs that led to his room.
She pushed the door open, putting her bag on the ground and walking over to his bed, where Nico was laying, playing on his phone. She reached over, taking his phone out of his hands and moving on top of him, heading in for a kiss before Nico stopped her, pushing her off of him.
"Wait, Liza, that's not what I wanted to do."
Liza sighed from above, falling off of him and onto the bed. They hadn't done anything for weeks, because Liza was too wrapped up in the stress of her family and finals, and Nico had been too wrapped up in...
"Eden?" Liza asked, annoyed at the fact that she hadn't noticed it before. She knew they were banging, but she never noticed how serious he was about her.
"Yeah. We're... I dunno. We're complicated." Nico turned to face her, sighing. He really liked Eden, a lot more than he should, but she never let anyone in. She pushed everyone away.
"Well, this trip was... pointless. I'll call Max, I guess. At least he doesn't have stupid emotions." Liza pushed herself off the bed, leaning against the wall as Nico sat up.
"Liza. You're welcome to stay and talk, if you want."
Liza scoffed at his suggestion, grabbing her bag from off the ground and stepping out of the room.
"Too bad I don't."
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Nico slammed the door to Eden's house, the anger, the hurt he felt, burning inside of him, eating him alive. He fell too hard for the girl who can't fall at all.
He should have known better. Eden was a disaster, destroying everything she touched. There was no way he could fix that.
But he damn sure tried. He tried to see past the walls, the cracks, the thorns. He almost thought he did, until she slept with Max, of all people.
Nico dug through his pockets, pulling out his phone and dialing the person best for this situation.
"Hey, Jonas. You got any more x? I need some. Badly."
The voice on the other side spoke through, voices in the background chattering through. It took Nico a moment to place why there were voices, until he realized that Jonas was at a party. Of course, because where else would a drug dealer be.
"Yeah, I'm, uh, I'm actually-fuck, hold on..." Nico heard a bunch of clatter on the other end, and then silence. "Yeah, I've got some. I'm at a party, want me to hold on to a couple?"
Nico mumbled out a confirmation and you could practically hear Jonas's grin on the other side. "Awesome, so, how many of you?"
Nico shook his head, walking to his car and opening the door. "No Thomas, sorry. Just me."
Jonas chuckled on the other end as Nico started the engine. "Well, tell him to actually try talking to me sometimes. Watching him stare at me from across the lunch table is amusing and all, but it's not enough." Nico let out a laugh, putting the park in reverse when Jonas finally chimed in. "Oh, right, by the way, I'm at a party in, uh, who's house... hold on, Liza knows, she brought me."
Nico felt a pang in his stomach, the anticipation of the answer overwhelming him for just a moment. Nico could hear Liza's voice in the background, a quiet mumble.
"Max something or another, she says you should know which one. I'll be here, just... Text me. I'll bring it to you."
Nico smirked as an idea formulated in his head. "Perfect." He slid the end call button, setting his phone down and driving towards the place he's only been a couple times.
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-You love me.-
Eden's text vibrated through his phone, the conversation they were having showing on his screen like a bad taste in his mouth. He'd come here to get high and confront Max, and that's what he did. Get high, anyway. He couldn't find the asshole anywhere.
He typed out a couple more texts, pressing send without regret.
-Does it matter what I say? We both know.-
Liza laughed with Jonas at some stupid joke they were probably going to forget in five minutes. Nico leaned forward, shoving his phone in his pocket when a response never came.
"Guys, where's Max? I need to speak to him."
Liza pointed to a staircase, laughing more at the joke from earlier. "In his bedroom, probably. Only room up there."
Nico thanked her, picking himself up off the couch and hurrying up the stairs, looking for the room that he was in before being stopped by a blonde that he was sure to recognize, in a second.
"Hey, Nico." She smirked at him, a knowing, calculating look on her face. "You lost?"
Nico shook his head, trying to walk past her but being stopped by her hand on his chest. "I'm looking for Max. You seen him... Sarah?" The name clicked, finally, and he finally knew where he recognized her from. She was Eden's best friend.
"No, I haven't. I think he bailed... Probably to see Eden, no doubt." Sarah said it so casually, but the knives in his chest just dug even deeper with the words. "She's never going to love you, you know. She's incapable of it. Nothing's going to change that... Not even giving Max a long deserved beating."
Nico's heart felt like it was feeling way too much, yet not at all. The words Sarah had told him ripping out every piece of him, only to put it back in a different order. The drugs, the alcohol, everything taking over him, overwhelming him like a hurricane. Sarah hooked a finger under the front of his jeans, pulling him lightly, not enough to move him, but enough to indicate where she was pulling him to.
The bedroom. And suddenly, his brain turned off. He needed a distraction, and if Eden wasn't going to respond to his texts, if she was going to sleep with Max, if she was going to use him like she has been, then surely, whatever he would do wouldn't matter.
Because it's not like they were together.
Because it's not like they were in love.
Because it's not like he fucking mattered to her at all.
Nico followed Sarah's direction, letting the door fall shut behind them.
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Nico fastened his belt and sighed, reaching for his shirt and pulling it on. For the first time, ever, he felt disgusted with himself. Full of regret. He glanced over at Sarah for a second, before turning away.
"Eden's gonna be so pissed." Nico choked out, his throat hoarse from the different emotions that was swirling inside him. "She better not fucking find out. This was... a mistake. Such a mistake."
Nico pushed the bedroom door open, Sarah following him out and down the stairs, trying to say something that was lost in the crowd, something he didn't really care about hearing. He got to the last couple of steps before noticing the girl already standing there.
The girl he was trying to avoid hurting.
The girl who he just screwed everything up with.
Eden's face said more than words ever could, did more damage to him than he ever thought a look could do. His heart shattered, the numbness of the drugs and sex breaking the moment he laid eyes on her.
"There's only one thing up those stairs. One room. Are you serious? Nico?"
The words stabbed him like shattered glass, raining over him and pressing into every existing cut and making new ones. The girl behind him tried to speak up, tried to say something, but Nico didn't hear it. He didn't register the words, her being interrupted, her leaving. He couldn't.
"Eden..."
The words escaped his lips before he even had time to think about it, reaching forward before he could stop himself. He had to try to fix this. Had to try to do something.
He could see Liza and Jonas leaning against the wall, watching sympathetically, and he almost wanted to laugh. Of course they were still here. Of course they had to see this.
Eden backed up to avoid his grasp, the movement so simple, yet caused so much damage.
"No. You don't get to touch me. Not anymore."
Nico watched as she left the house, the rest of the room watching as if it was the new hit television show. Nico moved through the crowds and out of the house, Liza and Jonas following him, trying to make something better, at least. Liza led him to her car when they caught up with him, Nico sliding into the front seat, not a word being shared between them.
The silence in the car was deafening.
Freaking awesome! Also I have a crush on Nico he is so cute!! Shhh don't tell Rich!! I miss you tons. Send me an email at fuzzyqueen05@gmail.com we can catch up! Love you <3
ReplyDeleteNico is my faaaaveeee. His story gets better ;-; Love you too <3
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