Saturday, January 27, 2024

Chapter 1.9: Wilder Mind

A/N: Two years later... oops. Hope y'all have been safe during quarantine, and I hope everyone is okay! Thank you for reading.
A/N 1/27/24: I did not realize that I never finished posting this chapter. The world has been through so much lately and I've had this chapter sitting in my drafts for 4 years.
So, in reality... Six years later... oops.

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I thought that love was in the drugs
But the more I took
The more it took away
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Alicia stepped softly on the pavement, Asher following behind her, hands in his coat pockets as he watched Alicia as she complained about a difficult customer she'd dealt with the day prior.

He smiled at her, a soft chuckle making her pause and furrow her brows in confusion. "What? Why are you laughing?"

He laughed a little bit more, smiling wider as he stepped in front of her, continuing on their walk. "You're cute when you go off on a tangent like that."

Alicia felt blood rush to her cheeks, a smile forming on her lips. She brushed a section of her hair behind her ear, following behind the redheaded man. They settled into a comfortable silence, watching passerby's as they drank from their milkshakes. They'd gotten into a habit of doing this every couple of days for the past month, and they had grown quickly attached to each other.

"Oh!" Alicia exclaimed, pulling her phone out and quickly searching for a picture. She pulled up the one Aislynn showed her the week before, showing it to Asher. "I'm not really a party person, but dressing up in glow-y body paint sounds... fun, I guess? So, would you like to go?"

Asher scanned the picture, 'hmmmm'-ing and looking up at Alicia. "That's tonight."

Alicia nodded, taking her phone back and sliding it in her pocket. She shrugged, continuing to walk as Asher followed along. He pondered the idea, before nodding.

"Alright, sounds fun. I'll go."

--------------------------------------------------

Alicia watched herself in the mirror, her makeup bold and bright. She went out and bought body paint made to glow under a blacklight. She had two stripes of pink on her cheeks, her hair pulled back into a ponytail and patterns drawn across her arms. She adjusted the top she was wearing, letting out a sigh as she turned back to Aislynn.


"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

Aislynn smiled, applying a final stroke on her fingernail polish and looking over to Alicia. "Of course. We deserve a fun night out after all the work and studying we've been doing. Plus," She added in a singing voice. "Your boyfriend is coming."

Alicia rolled her eyes, giving the dark haired woman a glare. "He's not my boyfriend. We've known each other for a month."

"And you've seen each other almost every day." Aislynn responded, pushing herself up from where she was sitting on the couch. She was interrupted by a knock on the door, turning to look at the entrance. Aislynn stepped forward, opening the door to reveal Asher, standing there with a grin and a loose-fitting tank top, body paint drawn into geometric shapes across his body.


Asher extended a hand, greeting Aislynn. "Hi, I'm Asher. You must be Alicia's roommate. It's nice to finally meet you."

Aislynn took the man's hand, pulling him into a friendly hug. She then released him, giving him a big smile. "It's nice to meet you, too." She turned back to Alicia, grabbing the keys from where they were hanging by the door. "Are we ready to go?"

-------------------------------------------------

The drive to the venue was uneventful, Alicia taking the role of designated driver and pulling into a parking spot close to the building. She stepped out of the car, two small chirps emitting from the vehicle as she locked it. She turned to the other two, shoving the keys in her purse and gesturing towards where people were entering and exiting the venue.

The venue looked like an abandoned warehouse, all concrete and dangling light fixtures that shook with the bass. The crowd was dancing to the music, a sea of up and down jumping and sporadic twisting. Aislynn turned to Alicia and Asher, pointing a thumb over at the bar and mouthing “I’ll be right back.”

Alicia nodded, moving to face Asher. The building was dark, black lights hanging from the ceiling the only light in the place. Asher’s paint stripes glowed orange and green, bright neons complimenting his fair skin.

“So, shall we dance?” Asher jokingly extended an arm, which Alicia took. He twirled her around, eliciting a small laugh from the girl. He then joined in on the jumping and swaying of the crowd, a goofy grin on his face.

Alicia stood there for a moment, enjoying the view of Asher having fun when she felt Aislynn’s hand brush against her arms.

“Hey. I got you guys some drinks.” She handed a cup to Alicia, and another to Asher once she waved him down. Alicia sipped on the drink, a sweet non-alcoholic punch on her tastebuds.

The three of them traversed the crowd, making their way to the middle where a disco ball of various colors hung above them.

The three of them danced together, Alicia’s hands finding Aislynn’s as the two friends laughed together. Alicia eventually moved back to dancing with Asher, his hands on her waist and hers finding their way to wrap around the back of his neck. He pulled her into a kiss, his lips tasting like cheap vodka and fruit punch. The kiss intensified for a few seconds before Alicia pulled away, taking a deep breath and laughing.


“I’m gonna go get another drink. All of this is dehydrating.”

Alicia broke away from the embrace, making her way through the crowd to the bar. She smiled at the bartender, a dark haired girl with tattoos and a lip ring. “Could I get some punch, please? No alcohol.”

The lady smiled at Alicia, filling the cup up as Alicia turned away to survey the crowd. Out of the corner of her eye she thought she saw someone she recognized, her hearing tuning into their conversation.


“—someone has to take him, because he can’t stay with me anymore.” A male’s voice angrily spat, to which a familiar sounding woman replied.

“C’mon, Madison. We have to help him. He’s going through—“

“A hard time, yeah. We get it. We all are. But he is the only one who’s coked up.” Another familiar man’s voice said.


“C’mon, Tommy. That’s not fair.” Alicia finally turned to see who spoke, and saw the group of people she went to high school with. Jonas was the one who replied to Thomas, standing there with Liza and another man—Madison, she presumed—looking into the crowd at a man who was dancing, jumping up and down, a wild look in his eyes. It took a moment for Alicia to recognize him, but when she did, she shouted his name.

“Nico?”

He turned to face her, a wide grin breaking across his face when he saw her. He made his way through the crowd, pulling Alicia into a hug when he got to her.

He smelled strongly of booze and cigarette smoke, more than anyone else in the venue. She could tell that he was on something by the way he held her tight, letting go of her after a couple of seconds.

"Alicia! Hey!" He smiled at her, turning back to the others.

The group waved at her, small, awkward smiles on their faces as they did so. It was obvious they were annoyed with his antics, and Alicia could see why they would be.

"Nico, c'mon. We have to talk about something." Madison said, his stormy grey eyes glaring at Nico. "You need to find another place to stay, I can't have you at my place anymore."

Nico frowned, crossing his arms at the man. "And why not, Mads?"

Mads rolled his eyes, giving Nico a small huff. "You know why. I can't have you dragging your mess into my apartment. Look, man, we've been friends since we were born, but this is getting out of control. You need help."

Nico looked stunned, a heartbroken expression forming on his features. "But-but-"

"Nico, he's right." Liza interjected, a soft look on her face. It was obvious they all cared about him and were worried about him. "You need help, but we're done enabling you. It's time for you to get out of this funk you're in."

Nico took a step back, folding his arms together and looking away and into the crowd.


Alicia suddenly interjected, speaking before she really had time to think about what she was saying.

"He can stay with me." The group turned to look at her. "For a little while, if he wants." Nico cracked a small smile at her. "But no more of this. You need to get help if you're going to stay with me."

Nico nodded, taking a beat before responding. "Okay. Yeah. If that's what everyone thinks is best, I'll do it."

-------------------------------------

Nico sighed as he fell onto the couch, looking up at the Alicia, before turning his eyes to Aislynn and Asher. The man looked between the two girls, his face holding a concerned expression as his eyes fell back to Alicia. "I'll let the two of you handle this for now." He turned to glance at Nico for a moment, and then back to Alicia. "I'll text you in the morning?"

Alicia nodded, giving him a smile and a short kiss on the cheek before watching him walk out the door. She let out a long breath before she faced Nico again, who was rubbing his eyes with his palms and starting to look irritated.

"I see you haven't changed much," Aislynn quipped, annoyance written on her face at Nico.

"Aislynn, right. We never talked much in high school. Thanks for letting me crash here for a bit." Nico looked up at her, the energy and cheerfulness from earlier rapidly fading.

"Thank Alicia, not me." There was a pause while Alicia and Aislynn looked at each other. "I'm going to bed. I'll see you both in the morning."

Alicia and Nico both nodded, the red-haired man giving her a wave as she walked to her bedroom.

There was a tense silence following Aislynn's departure, both Nico and Alicia avoiding the other's gaze. After a minute, the quiet broke when Alicia turned to Nico and spoke.

"So, blankets. I have a few spare ones in the linen closet, let me grab them." Walking away, she rummaged through the closet to pull out two relatively warm throw blankets. She tossed her head Nico's direction once more. "One pillow or two?"

Nico's head jerked up from where it was buried in his hands, letting out a long breath as he processed what she asked. "Uh, one is fine. Thanks."

Pulling the pillow out of the basket it was sitting in, she slid a pillowcase on it, bundling it and the two blankets under her arms and making her way back to the man, handing it over. Another few seconds of silence fell between them as he took the items and set them on the seat next to him.

"Look. Nico, I'm not going to give you a lecture or judgement or anything. I know you've been through..." She paused, an empathetic look growing on her features.

'More than I could possibly imagine,' she thought to herself. She knew what happened, of course. She heard the stories. The rumors. The gossip about everything that happened on prom night, and after. Nico's downward spiral.

"A lot," she finally finished, moving to sit down next to Nico, resting a hand on his shoulder. "I'm here for you. I know we haven't talked in a while..." She thought back to the weeks and months after prom night. The viewed and unreturned messages. "And I know we were never particularly close, but I care about you. I want you to be okay, and I want you to know that I'm here for you."

Nico turned his head to look at her, his eyes started to glisten with tears. His cheeks her slowly becoming pink, and his breathing hitched for a moment. "I'm..."

It looked like he wanted to say something, but decided against it, giving her a weak smile instead. "Thanks, Alicia. I appreciate it."

The two locked eyes for a moment, a genuine smile forming on both of their faces before Alicia broke the silence. "Get some rest. I'm going to go wash all this body paint off of me. You can have the shower after me, if you'd like."

Pushing herself off the couch and making her way to the bathroom, she turned and gave Nico one final smile. "You're going to be okay. We'll get you through this."

Friday, April 20, 2018

Chapter 1.8: Glory Days

A/N: Due to computer malfunctions, there will be no more pictures past the ones I had taken during this chapter. Thank you for your understanding.

Also, this was officially posted on the 4 year anniversary of California Rain (formally known as Self Conclusion). Thank you for reading and following my progress for all these years!
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Those kids’ll bring us down
All their fucking around
We’ll never be the same
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Alicia stared at the post-it note stuck on the door of her fridge, the numbers written carefully across the yellow surface. The mug in the hand warmed her skin, her fingertips tapping on the ceramic surface.

Aislynn watched her from where she leaned on the wall, an amused look spread across her face. "Just call him."  She steps forward, next to the blonde and cocked her head at the number. "We both know he's probably sitting by his phone, waiting for it to ring anyway."


Alicia shook her head softly, taking a drink of coffee and letting the bitter drink wash down the taste of sleep. "I'm already so busy with school and work, I need to focus on that. So, I'm not calling him."

Aislynn took Alicia's phone from where it was sitting on the kitchen table, dialing the number on the fridge and pressing send, handing the ringing device to Alicia, receiving an eye roll from the other and listening as the recipient picked up.

"Uh, hey, Asher." Her voice wavered with anxiety, turning away from Aislynn and holding the phone closer to her. She smiled to herself as he chatted away on the other end about how he was waiting for her to call, leaning on the kitchen table with one arm as Aislynn left the room with a smirk. "Yeah, I was just wondering, are you free tonight?"

Asher let out a short laugh on the other end. "Yeah, I am, actually. Wanna meet up? I know a really nice restaurant near your place."

Alicia smiled, pushing herself up on the kitchen counter and nodding into the phone before speaking up. "Yeah, yeah. That sounds great."



A sigh of relief sounded on the other end. "Alright, great. I'll pick you up. Wear something nice."

--------------------------------------------

The sun was shining.

That was his first thought, was that the sun was shining, and it was such a nice day, and it wasn't fair, it wasn't fair that she should have had so many nice days left to enjoy, and she had none.


She had none because some asshole decided to shoot her because he had a problem with her sexuality, because he was crazy, because of some fucked up reasoning that Thomas didn't quite get.

She had none because Thomas ran late, because he could have been the one the sick fuck targeted, because he should have been the one. She had the rest of her life planned out, down to the very last detail, and she'd never get to live a single one.

They were all wearing black, because that's what they were supposed to do. He could hear what she would say to them if she saw them like this, the jokes about how depressing and gloomy they all were, and he knew she'd hate it.

The pastor was speaking about life and death and the sins of the man or whatever they said at these things, but Thomas couldn't listen, couldn't process what was happening, he hasn't been able to process a thing since it happened. He felt like he was living in a never ending nightmare and he just wanted to wake up.

He heard a weak whimper from beside him, Liza's shoulders shaking from the tears that were falling. He wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer to him as she broke down in his arms, tears welling up in his eyes.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Venus's mother fall to the ground with a loud wail, Nico kneeling down beside her to pull her into an embrace. She kept repeating the same words, over and over, each time breaking Thomas down even more.

"My baby, my baby, my baby."


-----------------------------------------------------

The car door fell shut behind Alicia, the lights from the restaurant window illuminating the parking lot that was darkening fast as the sun set. Golden hues and orange tones flickered and danced through the sky, her heels clicking against the asphalt.

The sign above the doors said Aurora in fancy writing, the cars parked in the lot nicer than any she'd even hoped to have one day. She hesitated a moment before turning to Asher, smiling softly and opening her mouth to speak.

"You know, I have much better idea."

Asher raised an eyebrow at her, leaning on the car and waiting for her to speak.

"It's such a nice night, and I hate fancy restaurants, let's just grab some ice cream and walk in the park."

She could hear Asher chuckle under his breath before locking the car doors and nodding.

She smiled up at him and gestured over to the ice cream shop that rested a couple buildings over, turning to walk towards it. She could hear the click of Asher's shoes behind her, her hands clutching to the small purse she was carrying with her.

A small bell rang through the shop when Alicia opened the door, the cold air rushing into her. They were greeted by the two workers behind the counter. She smiled at the two, walking up to where the ice cream was being held and ordering a strawberry milkshake, Asher ordering a mint one.

Asher pulled out his wallet, sliding a bill to the two teenage workers and smiling as he took the two cups and handing Alicia hers. She took a sip from the straw, the cold washing down her throat, numbing it.

The bell rang again as they left the shop, Alicia draping the chain on her purse over her shoulder. The street lamps shone on them, causing a glimmer of light on the dark ground.

They could hear the chatter of nature around them, crickets and birds sounding throughout the area. Cars passed near them, the engines purring against the tranquil silence.

"So," Asher started, taking a drink of his milkshake and looking off into the night sky. "You're in college, right? What are you majoring in?"

"Arts. I wanna be an art teacher." Alicia replied, stepping off the parking lot and onto the sidewalk. She poked holes in her milkshake with her straw, "My mom was an art teacher."

"Oh, that's cool. Did she retire?" Asher said.

Alicia cleared her throat, averting her eyes and taking a deep breath. "No. What about your parents?"

Asher took a beat to let what she said settle in, but didn't press the answer. He stirred the remnants of his half-consumed milkshake a bit before answering. "Dad was the Founder of a large business, and when he passed away, he left it to me. Mom's living out in New York somewhere, but we don't talk much."

Alicia watched as he stirred his shake some more, the golden light accenting his sharp cheekbones, his dark eyes. He was gorgeous, Alicia thought, and it amazed her that he was here with her, when he could easily have anyone he wanted.

"I'm sorry. About losing your dad, and your mom." Alicia whispered, clearing her throat to hide the tremble in her voice that came with thinking about her family.

It was so unfair, just how screwed up everything was. She saw the pressure eat at her father for years, building up, and then... Prom night happened, and he broke. He completely shattered, and there was nothing she could do about it.

Events that big didn't just affect those involved, they touched everyone around it. It was like a nuclear bomb went off and destroyed everyone and everything around her and all she could do was pick up the pieces and run, going to a school four hours from home.

She didn't know what to do. She was lost, for the first time in her life. She put up the charade of having everything together, but every day was grasping at straws.

"I'm sorry, too. For your mom." Asher noted, smiling over at her. A genuine, pure smile, and not the sympathetic ones she got from her classmates. She smiled back at him, taking the last drink of her milkshake and throwing it in a nearby garbage can.

She turned to him, watching as he slowed to a stop close to her. "So," he started, his voice low. "that diner you work at, you're a waitress there, right?"

Alicia nodded, turning her back to him and taking a couple more steps, finding a nearby park bench for the two of them to sit at. Asher sat down next to her, watching her as she stared up at the night sky, the stars twinkling brightly through the thin layer of clouds that were forming quickly.

"How's that going? The waitressing gig?" He asked, moving an inch closer to her. She leaned back, her skin cold from the metal. He inched forward again, his body heat warming her up as she turned to face him, a content smile on her face as he leaned forward, his lips meeting hers, soft and sweet.

He tasted like the mint milkshake he had still grasped in one hand, the other coming to meet hers, lacing their fingers together as the kiss intensified, the passion behind it shining through. She pulled away, chuckling to herself and whispering "hi."

"Hi," Asher laughed with her, pulling her up off the park bench and continuing their walk, hand in hand.

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Aislynn was waiting up for her when she walked in the door, the lamp next to the couch and the cell phone in Aislynn's hand the only light in the dim apartment. The dark haired girl clicked her phone off when she noticed Alicia walk through the doors, excitement lighting up her features. "So, did you guys have fun?"

Alicia laughed softly, setting her purse down on the kitchen table and stepping out of her heels. "He's sweet." She said, moving to the couch and sitting next to her friend. She leaned back into the seat, crossing her arms and looking over at Aislynn.

"Good." Aislynn responded, looking back to her phone and scrolling for a moment, before showing the screen to Alicia. A black screen showed, with bright neon lettering that said "BLACKLIGHT PARTY" and a time and place.

"What do you say?" Aislynn smiled. "Should we go?"

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Chapter 1.7: Forest Fires



I had heart but it left with your breath
And the notes that you sang
I'll remember them always
Just the thought that you're here in my chest
Keeps the thoughts in my head
From the dark that is these days

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The apartment door fell shut behind Alicia, the plastic bags crinkling as she sat them down on the kitchen table, her roommate Aislynn smiling as she leaned back on the wall and watched the blonde take out the groceries she had bought after work.

"Hey, you're back." Alicia grinned when she noticed the girl, opening the fridge and sliding the jug of milk into place. Aislynn nodded, pushing herself off the wall and helping Alicia put away the food in the cabinets. "How was winter break?"

The girl shrugged, putting away the last of the boxes and throwing the plastic bags in the trash. "It was okay. Not too thrilled about starting a new semester, but I'll deal. How was work?"

Alicia walked through the halls and into her room, shutting the door and shouting over the walls, stripping off her work uniform and yelling through the wall.



"It was alright, I guess. It's just work. Nothing special. I talked to my dad during my break, though."

Alicia pulled on a sweater and a pair of jeans, feeling the fabric slide across her skin, the static rolling over her. She reached for the doorknob to her bedroom, opening the door and walking out. Aislynn raised an eye at her words, worry playing on her face.

"It's been seven months, Ais." Alicia fell back on the couch, pulling her knees to her chest. "He needs to find another job, he needs to do something. I'm worried about him."
Aislynn sat next to her on the couch, crossing her legs and sighing. "Alicia, you can't rush him. Someone--"

Alicia cut her off with a glare before she could finish. "Yeah, I know what happened, Aislynn. I went to school with her, too."

Aislynn ran a hand through her hair, a silence falling on them. The blonde stood up from the couch, turning and taking a couple steps back into the kitchen.


Aislynn let out a cautious breath, following her into the room and leaning on the wall, watching as Alicia slid something into the microwave and pressing it on. "I'm just saying, it's only been seven months. He feels responsible... He needs time to recover."

Alicia popped open a can of soda, pressing it to her lips and taking a drink.

"He's had enough time."

---------------------------------

The doors flew open, the lights from the inside blinding Thomas until his eyes adjusted. He could hear medical equipment beeping, the sound of nurses talking to doctors echoing through his head. Jonas followed behind him, hugging his jacket closer to him.

Jonas led them through the hospital, to the waiting room where Liza called them from. Nico sat on a chair in the corner, blood stained clothes still on him, a vacant, panicked look on his face.

Clara was leaning against the wall, visibly distraught. Thomas's eyes flittered around the room, landing on the three's faces, each only for a moment, but long enough for the panic, the reality of this situation, to set in.

"Oh, my god..."

Thomas's steps slowed to a stop the moment the doors closed behind them, the silence rolling through. Liza let out a shaky, broken breath before her calm facade broke, a tear rolling down her cheek as she rushed forward, throwing her arms around Thomas and pulling him into a hug.

Thomas took a moment to react, his arms wrapping around her, pulling her closer to him as he started to break.

Jonas fell back on the door, a shaky sigh leaving his lips.

Thomas and Liza broke their embrace, Thomas stepping back to look over their faces one last time.

"How is she? Is she..."


Clara broke her silence, looking over at the strawberry blonde.




"They haven't given us any news yet."

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Alicia twisted her key in the lock one more time, the engine trying to sputter to life but failing. A frustrated sigh left her lips as she pulled the key roughly out of the slot, shoving them in her purse and stepping out of the car.

The door slammed behind her as she ran her hand through her hair in annoyance. She could hear the sound of cars passing on the streets below her, her heels clicking against the pavement as she began to walk.

Alicia pulled out her cell phone, searching for the familiar name in her contacts. Her thumb pressed the call button lightly, listening to the ringing while she waited for the other girl to answer.

She heard a click, followed by a soft answer of 'hello'. Alicia looked back at her car and bit her lip softly, whispering out "Hey, Aislynn. My car won't start, and I have to be at work..." She checked the clock on her phone, groaning in annoyance at the time. "Fifteen minutes ago. Are you busy?"

Aislynn sighed on the other end, mentioning her class and Alicia nodded to herself, assuring the other girl it was fine before she hung up. She spun around and looked at her car again, shaking her head and taking a couple steps away, heading for the exit and pressing the descend button on the elevator.

The gears spun around her, lowering her through the parking garage and near the exit into the streets. She pulled her hair back, tying it in place before the elevator doors opened.

She stepped out of the space without looking up, running into a large figure with enough force to knock the breath out of her.

She pressed up against the metal of the closed elevator doors, opening her eyes to look up at the man she ran into. He smiled down at her, adjusting the jacket on his suit.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I'll get out of your way..." Alicia scrambled to pick up the purse that she dropped in the collision, the man above her chuckling. He reached for her cell phone which had fallen out of her hand and onto the cement below, handing it to her when she stood up.

"No, no, it's fine. I'm Asher." He stuck his hand out, Alicia's mind taking a few moments to catch up to her before she took his hand with hers, shaking firmly. Alicia smiled softly and released his grip, breaking their eye contact and looking towards the exit.

"Listen, I'm sorry, my car broke down and I'm late for work, and it was great meeting you and all but I have to go."

Asher laughed above her, light and amused. "I can drive you, if you need."

Alicia shook her head, biting her bottom lip softly and turning her eyes back to him. She shouldn't. She barely knew the guy, he could be dangerous, but something felt like she could trust him. At least, for one car ride.

"Thanks, yeah, I do."

He smiled and took a step back, gesturing for her to head in front of him, through the exit. Her hands pushed on the cold metal of the door, the chilly winter air brushing past them, Asher leading her to the car sitting next to the sidewalk. The car looked like it cost a fortune, and Alicia's walking slowed to a stop when she laid eyes on it.

"Wait, this is yours?"

She heard Asher laugh above her, walking past her and pressing the unlock button on his key. He looked at her with a half-smile spread across his face, gesturing towards the passenger door as he slid into the vehicle.

Alicia stepped forward a little bit more, making her way to the car and stepping in, careful as to not mess anything up. She heard a chuckle come from beside her, pulling the seat belt over her chest as she leaned back in the seat. She told him where she needed to be as he started the car, pulling out of his spot and driving down the road.

"So, uh, what were you doing in that parking garage?" Alicia asked, the fact that he was at an old, dingy parking garage that probably cost less than his car nagging at her.

"I was visiting my little brother, he lives in the apartment building next to it." Asher smiled, looking over at her before returning his eyes back to the road. "His name is Preston, he goes to the college here, he's majoring in math."

Alicia couldn't place the name, although it sounded familiar. She decided to believe his story, not asking any more questions. She watched the scenery pass out the window, noticing when they were getting close to the diner that she worked at.

"Okay, turn here." Alicia pointed at the curve in front of them, Asher pulling into it. He parked in a space, pulling out a pen and a post-it note and scribbling something down before Alicia opened the door.

He handed her the post-it note, smiling at her as she stepped out of the car.

"Call me sometime. I'd love to hang out."

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Nico stepped back into the waiting room, the bloody clothes he had been wearing stuffed in a plastic bag, in exchange for a clean pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. The silence was heavy, the atmosphere was broken and hopeless.

Liza looked up quickly when she heard the door open, resigning back into herself when she saw that it was just Nico.

They'd been here for a couple hours, and so far, they had no news. Nico sat his bag down in the corner, sliding down next to Clara. She smiled at him, soft and weak, wrapping her arm over her shoulder and pulling him closer to her.

Nico's breath was shaky, tears welling up in his eyes that he refused to let spill over. He felt like someone had left a rock in his chest, the weight pulling him down, drowning him.

Jonas cracked open a soda, the sound of the aluminum snapping ricocheted through the room, breaking the silence.

The door opened without warning, the doctor stepping into the silence, everyone's focus turning to him, to the clipboard he was holding, to the regret on his face that broke the news far before any words he could have spoken.

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I see the night
It's coming for me
To take you away
It's here as a thief
And I know that I'm scared
From down on my knees
I'm asking relief

Monday, August 10, 2015

Chapter 1.6: Trouble

She thought that love was gonna fight
She thought that love was gonna take her home
She thought that love was gonna save her
But love just never showed
She thought that love was always watching
Oh we learned that love was supposed to win
But sometimes it's the demons
That are standing in the end

----------------------------------

Heels clicked on the pavement as the four stepped out of the car, the cold evening air nipping at their skin. Liza pressed a button on her car key, the locks sliding into place on the inside when she dropped her key into her purse. Nico leaned on the chilled metal with a sigh, crossing his arms.

"Where the fuck are they? They're gonna be late for the reservations."

Venus tapped on her phone, getting a response moments after sending her message. "Thomas says he's stuck in traffic." She looked around the group, curiosity written on her face. "Do we just go in and wait?"

Liza took a couple steps and nodded, the other three following her direction. She pushed the doors open, the clicking of heels on tiles echoing throughout the entrance. The host stood behind his podium, a smile wide on his face. Liza mentioned reservations, giving him their names as he led them through the restaurant and to a table.

The four sat in their seats, menus being placed in front of them as the host took their drink orders and left. The four flipped through their menus for a moment, before Venus broke the silence.

"I haven't gotten my letter in the mail yet, have either of you?"

She looked up from the booklet in front of her, worry filtering gently through her words. Nico shook his head, taking his drink when the waiter brought it. "Not yet, no. Don't worry, I'm sure we'll all get in."

Thomas had received is acceptance letters weeks ago, because he applied toward the end of junior year. The others had waited a little longer than they intended to, so they had yet to hear back. Nico and Liza weren't worried, but Venus had no other options. She hadn't applied to any other schools, because that was her only choice.

Nico took a long drink from his cup, filling the rest up with vodka from a flask he had brought and mixing it in. Liza glared at him from where she was sitting across from him, a smirk playing on his lips. He shrugged softly, taking a drink and keeping his eyes fixed on the redhead.

"Of course you'll get in, Venus. You have, what, the fifth highest GPA in our class? They can't turn that down."

Clara smiled at Venus, reaching out and lacing their fingers together. They stayed like that for a little too long, their eyes staying locked on each other's for a moment more than it needed to. A group of men passed by, the one in front laughing out a slur.

Nico's head shot around, the anger building, pushing over. "Excuse us?"

The group chuckled like they were watching an amusing sitcom on television, the situation irritating Nico. "I'm pretty sure you hear me, kid."

Nico kicked his chair back when he stood up, moving close to the guy who was speaking. "Say anything like that around me ever again, and you'll be leaving with a broken limb."

Venus shot up at his words, hands pressing against the table. "Nico, that is enough. Don't worry about them and let it go."

The man's demeanor has changed from a joking attitude to something that had Nico genuinely scared. He took a step toward Nico before backing off.

"You're gonna regret ever saying anything, kid."

The group walked off without another word, leaving the four of them in silence once again. Nico took a step back, finding his chair and sliding down into it. Venus sat back down, the waiter coming up to take their orders before they said they needed a couple more minutes.

Footsteps sounded through the restaurant, the two missing teens sliding into their seats and quickly opening the menus. Thomas had an apologetic look on his face when he looked over at them, smiling softly. "Sorry we're late. We got stuck in traffic... It was insane. Did we miss anything?"

Nico huffed, crossing his arms, visibly upset. Venus shook her head and looked over at the two.

"Nah. Nothing important."

-------------------------------------------

The music and lights pulsed through the room, bodies moving to the beat as Nico took one last drag of his cigarette, dropping it on the concrete and stepping out the flame. He walked with the other five of his friends, Jonas playing with the button on his suit jacket while Nico walked beside him, leaning over to whisper in his ear, handing him the flask Nico brought with him.

"Stressed?"

Jonas smiled and took the container, nonchalantly taking a swig before handing it back. He eased up a little bit, looking over at Thomas with a mixed expression, fondly, yet also worried. "I've, uh, never worn a suit before." Jonas laughed, clearing his throat and shrugging. "Or been on a real date. It's different. Not bad, though."

Nico's hand found his back, pushing him towards Thomas softly. "Go, have fun." Jonas looked back and laughed, walking in the direction Nico pushed him. Nico sent him a nod of encouragement, watching as Jonas met up with Thomas, a smile spreading across the latter's features.

Liza moved next to Nico without a word, taking a drink of the punch she had grabbed a couple moments before. "This is the happiest I've ever seen him." Liza smiled up at Nico, nudging into him lightly. "Cheer up, buttercup. It's prom. We're all happy. You should be, too."

Nico looked over at her, forcing a smile that he hoped felt genuine. "Of course I'm happy, L. C'mon, let's go dance." Nico took her hand, leading her to where the other students were grinding against each other so badly it was almost embarrassing to watch. Liza set her drink down on the closest table, her hands finding their way draped behind Nico's neck, moving in time with the music.

"I'm sorry about Eden."

Nico almost stopped moving, missing a beat of the song and messing up their rhythm when he heard the name. He cleared his throat before continuing with the conversation. "It's not your fault, Elisabeth. I slept with Sarah. I screwed up."

Her eyes softened while he spoke, Nico doing his best to avoid looking at her. His grip on her hips relaxed as he moved away from her before she could speak any more.

The music faded into silence, everything faded into silence. He couldn't hear the voices of the students around him, the music blasting throughout the room. He tried to make his way towards the exit, pulling out his flask and drowning himself in the feeling of alcohol washing away his sins, not taking a breath until the last drop was gone. He dropped it back in his pocket, looking around him, the silence built like a wall around him, nothing getting through.

"Nico."

Nothing getting through. Nothing except that small word that he didn't expect to hear, from the person he didn't expect to hear it from.

He turned around to find her in front him, his eyes adjusting from the blur to focus on her. She took a couple more steps towards him, smiling as she did so. Nico smiled back, leaning on the wall and looking over her. Her beauty took his breath away.

"Hey, Alicia."

She looked behind him, back towards to exit, then back at him, confused. "Are you leaving already?" She took another, careful step. He took a deep breath, looking at the door for a moment while the music filtered back into his brain, everything calming down, the feeling from earlier passing with every moment.

Nico shook his head, pushing himself off the stone wall and taking a step towards her and smiling.

"Nah. Not yet.

Would you like to dance?"

---------------------------

Heels clicked on the pavement, Clara and Venus laughing with each other as Liza and Nico strolled calmly, wordlessly, peaceful silence falling over the two of them as they smiled at each other.

Liza was the first to break the silence, bumping into him with a small laugh while they walked.

"So, aren't you glad you went? You seemed to have a good time."

Nico chuckled with her, shrugging slightly. "It was okay. Better than sitting at home, drunk and miserable." He kicked a stone on the sidewalk that he passed, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and lighting one, taking a deep breath. "Walking back to our car in the cold is shit, though. You had to park two blocks away, why?"

Venus laughed at his remark, turning her head for a moment. "Too bad Tommy and Jonas left early. They could have made this trek with us."

Clara let out a small laugh, crossing her arms to combat the cold air. Nico was tempted to take his jacket off and hand it to her, but decided against it.

"Yeah, well, I doubt either of them are thinking 'too bad' right about now." Nico quipped, taking another pull from his cigarette, closing his eyes as the smoke filled his lungs. He exhaled slowly, dropping the end of the stick on the ground and pressing it out.

He checked the time on his phone, showing 1:18 in the morning. He pressed open the texts he received during the party, reading through a couple of the texts his father had sent him about bringing Clara home before he decided to go anywhere else.

He listened to a truck rev in the distance, speeding down the road. He turned around at the sound, looking confused at the noise, as to why anyone would be speeding down the road this loudly, at this time of night.

The driver yelled something indistinguishable, before pulling out a gun and firing two shots at them. The truck ran off into the distance, screams escaping from the teens lips, a soft sobbing from behind Nico.

Nico turned back around, finding Venus lying on the ground, unconscious, blood pooling around her. Nico pushed forward, dropping to the ground next to her, pulling her into his arms. He turned to the other two, who were still in shock from what had happened.

The world was shattering around them, but they had no time to stop moving.

"Call an ambulance, Liza. Now."

He pulled Venus closer to her, trying his best to stop the blood but he couldn't find where it was coming from, and it was getting everywhere. It was all over him, all over her, all over the ground, and he didn't know what to fucking do.

"You'll be okay, Vee. You'll, fuck, you'll be okay. I promise."

He could feel tears welling in his eyes, starting to fall down, dropping onto her dress. He could see the tears mixing with the dark scarlet, yelling one more time.


"Ambulance. Where the fuck is it?"

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Chapter 1.5: Saturday Night

Cause God knows I've made all my own choices

And if I drown alone it's cause I choose

To spend my time drinking in the stairwells

When we've both got way too much to prove

--------------------------------

The sunlight draped over the room, surrounding the dress in a warm glow that displayed all the best qualities, the gems sparkling with each movement. Venus finished tying the tie on her school uniform, the dress she had chosen for prom hanging on her closet door, ready for the weekend that was just ahead.

Footsteps echoed up the stairs, heels clicking against the wooden floor of her hallway, making their way to her bedroom. Venus grabbed her bag from where it sat on her bed, slinging it over her shoulder as the girl entered the room.

Liza looked over at the dress with amazement, a smile forming across her features. Venus laughed, smug with her choice. She's picked out the basics of the dress, and made the rest herself. None of her other friends had seen it since she had finished a couple days ago.

"Wow, Vee. This looks..." Liza tore her eyes away from the dress, back over to the redhead. Venus moved from where she was standing and over to her friend, leaning on the wall while Liza searched for the word. "It's perfect. Seriously."
Venus shrugged with feign arrogance, smiling and walking past Liza. "I know." Venus didn't have to look to know her friend was following her. She descended the stairs, making her way to the kitchen to grab something for to eat for breakfast.

Venus's mother was standing in front of the counter, typing on the keys of her laptop quickly, taking a moment to notice her daughter's presence. She turned around when Venus opened the fridge, smiling at the girls. "Hello, Venus. Hello, Elisabeth."

Liza waved and smiled at Ms. Wright, pulling a bottle of tea out of the fridge and opening it. Liza took a drink out of the bottle, leaning against the counter. The lady continued on, "So, have the four of you cemented your plans for Saturday?"

Venus nodded, taking a bite of the apple she grabbed. "The six of us, actually. I'm taking Clara, and Thomas is... wait, has Thomas asked yet?" Liza shook her head, a chuckle escaping Venus's lips. "Of course he hasn't. Well, hopefully six. I couldn't imagine them saying no to Tommy, though."

Liza pushed herself off the counter when Venus shut the fridge, thanking Ms. Wright for the tea and following Venus as she led her out of the house. "Speaking of, though. Have you told Clara yet? How you feel?"

Venus opened the passenger side door to Liza's car and climbed in, leaning back and taking another bite out of her apple. "No, not yet. I'll get there, though."

----------------------------------------------

The alcohol slid down his throat with too much ease, especially this early in the morning. Nico shook the empty bottle and sighed, throwing it in the trash can and walking into the school.  He'd been getting rides from Jonas every morning on account of being too intoxicated, all the time. Clara brushed past him, heading to her first class that she was complaining about being late for.

A figure caught his eye, walking through the hallways. Her black hair tied back, and his heart sunk for a moment until he was distracted by a hand on his shoulder, Jonas smiling at him and pushing him further into the building.

"Get over her, man. Prom's in a couple days, Graduation's next week, and then we have all summer to distract ourselves until college, where we never have to see her again." Jonas let go of Nico with a smile, Nico cracking a grin himself. "I've got to get to class, but I'll see you later."

Jonas turned away from him, walking through the hallways and towards his class. Nico sauntered through the hall, stopping in front of his art class and gripping the handle, pushing it open slowly.

The teacher glared at him with a look of disapproval, but didn't say anything. Nico avoided their gaze and sat down next to Alicia, pulling out the piece they'd been working on. "Hey, Nico." Alicia smiled at him, her pencil gliding across the page. Nico began to sketch on his paper, the drunken ideas pouring out of him and onto the page.

"Hey, Alicia. You going to prom?" Nico asked, the only question that anyone seemed to be asking anymore. High schoolers were so predictable, it was ridiculous. Alicia nodded, setting her pencil down  and looking over at him.

"Yeah, I am. Are you?" Nico nodded. He'd tried to get out of it, but they'd already made the arrangements, and Liza caused hell when he said he decided not to. What's the worst that could happen, Nico? So, he had to go with his friends, even if he didn't want to. "That's good. Who are you going with? Eden?"

Nico's chest sunk with the name, taking a minute to process an answer. He took a deep breath before speaking. "Uh, no, actually. We aren't... together, anymore." Alicia's face looked sympathetic from the corner of his eyes, and he avoided looking the best he could.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Alicia paused for a beat before continuing, picking up her pencil and shading. "Maybe I'll see you there."

Nico smirked at her. "Yeah, maybe."

------------------------------------

Thomas waited by the door to the classroom for the bell to ring, the clock above him ticking down the seconds. He played with the strap on his bag, trying to quell the butterflies in his stomach. The bell sounded through the halls, students pouring in through the doors, Thomas waiting for the one he needed.

Thomas reached for the arm of the student who walked out the door, pulling them to him. "Hey, Jonas. Can we talk." The look in Jonas's eyes showed that he'd been waiting for this moment, that he knew it was going to happen. He nodded, stepping closer to Thomas. "I was, uh, wondering, if you didn't have plans... Did you want to go to prom with me? And my friends, but, like, as my date?"
Jonas chuckled, stepping forward a pace and playing with the button on Thomas's vest. He was enjoying watching the boy fluster under his grip, struggling to formulate words. "That depends, Tommy. Can we finish what we started the other week?"

Thomas leaned forward so that they were close, so that he could whisper what he was going to say next.

"Maybe if you play your cards right."

Jonas laughed softly, taking a step back with a smirk. "Alright, then. You've got yourself a deal." Thomas smiled at his answer, fixing the bag strap on his shoulder when the warning bell rang. "Now, get to class. Our valedictorian can't be late, can he?"

Thomas walked past Jonas with a chuckle, striding through the halls until he found the class he needed to get to and sliding into the seat next to Venus. "He said yes." Thomas smiled at her, pulling out his notebook and scrawling down the notes that were on the board.

Venus smiled at the news, nudging him in the side. "I knew he would. Don't doubt me." Thomas rolled his eyes at her remark, marking out an incorrect sentence he had written down. "So, I assume you'll be taking your truck and meet us at the restaurant?"

Thomas nodded, scrawling down the last couple sentences and turning to her. "We're graduating soon, and that's insane."

Venus smiled at him, pushing a couple of strands of hair behind her ear. "It's the start of the rest of our lives."

-------------------------------------

 Clara fixed the strap on her dress, looking at herself in the mirror and smiling. She spun once, watching as the dress twirled with her, a laugh escaping her lips. Steps echoed through the hall, Nico knocking on her already open door when he reached her room.

"Hey, Clara. Can we talk?"

Clara smiled at him, taking in her brother's suit. It was well fitted and really nice, but even it didn't make him look any less like hell. He's been on a downward spiral, and even if he's been trying to hide it from Clara, it wasn't working. She could see how much he was breaking.
"Of course, Nico. What's up?" Clara sat on the edge of her bed, gesturing for her brother to sit with her. He stepped through the room, dropping on the bed roughly. Clara could see how drained he was, his emotions were tearing him apart and he didn't know how to deal with it.

"You know how she feels about you, right? Venus?" Nico said, more blunt than he meant to. He didn't do it to hurt anyone, he just wanted to protect Clara, and Venus, from getting hurt tonight due to some communications. "She likes you, a lot."

Clara laughed softly, leaning back on the bed. "Yeah, I know. You don't have to worry about it, Nico." Clara knew about Venus's crush for a while, and she had thought a lot about it. Venus was nice, and Clara liked her. She wasn't necessarily gay, but she didn't have to figure it all out right now. She was young. She had time. "Whatever happens tonight, happens."

Clara pushed herself off the bed, standing over Nico and smiling. Nico barely had time to stand up before his phone chimed, a text from Liza telling him they were there to pick him up. Nico motioned for the door, stepping out of the room, Clara following him.

They stepped down the stairs, a comfortable silence falling over them. Nico slowed when they got close to the door, stopping right in front of it and turning to Clara.

"You look beautiful, by the way. We're gonna have fun tonight. I promise."

Monday, January 19, 2015

Chapter 1.4: Slip Away

(A/N: This might be triggering for some people, so just a warning ahead. Remember, it's not consent if someone's intoxicated, and it's not consent if someone has to lie to get it. I love you. It gets better.

Also, read over at Hide and Seek so everything makes more sense.)


--------------------------------------------

When what we love we burn

It's from the ashes that we yearn

To be the phoenix that rises up from the flames

--------------------------------

Liza's fingers hovered over the keys of hey laptop, the words dancing around in her head, evading her grasp. The words on the page seemed to merge together, making less and less sense as she reread.

Shouting from the other room filtered into her bedroom, her parents arguing, again, about stupid shit, again. The fighting would have torn her apart by now, but she built a wall, one she was never going to let break.

She was going to protect herself from pain by making sure she never felt a thing.

Liza started typing again, a couple words finding their way onto the page before a crash was heard from the room below. Liza jolted out of her seat, closing her laptop and putting it in her bag. She groaned in frustration, pulling her bag over her shoulders and opening the window, climbing down and dropping onto the grass.

Liza pulled out her cell phone, dialing the long-familiar number and pressing it to her ear, walking to her car and opening to door. The line clicked and the other person mumbled "what's up?"

"Hey, Nico." Liza started the ignition, the engine purring to life as she pulled out of the driveway, the car driving down the road on it's way to her destination. "If you're busy, cancel your plans. I'm coming over."

Nico knew better than to argue, so he just grumbled in agreement, hanging up and leaving Liza silent in her drive. She zoned out in her drive, the road so familiar she could drive it without thinking.


Her parents were constantly fighting, her father constantly cheating, but they wouldn't call it quits. They wouldn't just hang up the fucking towel and get divorced.

She blocked herself off, the only thing that could make her feel anymore was sex. She didn't care who it was with, where, why, as long as she was getting her fix, she didn't mind.

Her car pulled into the driveway that led to Nico's home, parking quickly and turning off the engine. She grabbed her bag and stepped off the car, looking for his parent's cars and heading inside when she didn't see them, climbing the flight of stairs that led to his room.

She pushed the door open, putting her bag on the ground and walking over to his bed, where Nico was laying, playing on his phone. She reached over, taking his phone out of his hands and moving on top of him, heading in for a kiss before Nico stopped her, pushing her off of him.

"Wait, Liza, that's not what I wanted to do."

Liza sighed from above, falling off of him and onto the bed. They hadn't done anything for weeks, because Liza was too wrapped up in the stress of her family and finals, and Nico had been too wrapped up in...

"Eden?" Liza asked, annoyed at the fact that she hadn't noticed it before. She knew they were banging, but she never noticed how serious he was about her.

"Yeah. We're... I dunno. We're complicated." Nico turned to face her, sighing. He really liked Eden, a lot more than he should, but she never let anyone in. She pushed everyone away.

"Well, this trip was... pointless. I'll call Max, I guess. At least he doesn't have stupid emotions." Liza pushed herself off the bed, leaning against the wall as Nico sat up.

"Liza. You're welcome to stay and talk, if you want."

Liza scoffed at his suggestion, grabbing her bag from off the ground and stepping out of the room.

"Too bad I don't."


----------------------------------------

Nico slammed the door to Eden's house, the anger, the hurt he felt, burning inside of him, eating him alive. He fell too hard for the girl who can't fall at all.

He should have known better. Eden was a disaster, destroying everything she touched. There was no way he could fix that.

But he damn sure tried. He tried to see past the walls, the cracks, the thorns. He almost thought he did, until she slept with Max, of all people.

Nico dug through his pockets, pulling out his phone and dialing the person best for this situation.


"Hey, Jonas. You got any more x? I need some. Badly."

The voice on the other side spoke through, voices in the background chattering through. It took Nico a moment to place why there were voices, until he realized that Jonas was at a party. Of course, because where else would a drug dealer be.

"Yeah, I'm, uh, I'm actually-fuck, hold on..." Nico heard a bunch of clatter on the other end, and then silence. "Yeah, I've got some. I'm at a party, want me to hold on to a couple?"

Nico mumbled out a confirmation and you could practically hear Jonas's grin on the other side. "Awesome, so, how many of you?"

Nico shook his head, walking to his car and opening the door. "No Thomas, sorry. Just me."

Jonas chuckled on the other end as Nico started the engine. "Well, tell him to actually try talking to me sometimes. Watching him stare at me from across the lunch table is amusing and all, but it's not enough." Nico let out a laugh, putting the park in reverse when Jonas finally chimed in. "Oh, right, by the way, I'm at a party in, uh, who's house... hold on, Liza knows, she brought me."

Nico felt a pang in his stomach, the anticipation of the answer overwhelming him for just a moment. Nico could hear Liza's voice in the background, a quiet mumble.

"Max something or another, she says you should know which one. I'll be here, just... Text me. I'll bring it to you."



Nico smirked as an idea formulated in his head. "Perfect." He slid the end call button, setting his phone down and driving towards the place he's only been a couple times.

---------------------------

-You love me.-

Eden's text vibrated through his phone, the conversation they were having showing on his screen like a bad taste in his mouth. He'd come here to get high and confront Max, and that's what he did. Get high, anyway. He couldn't find the asshole anywhere.

He typed out a couple more texts, pressing send without regret.

-Does it matter what I say? We both know.-

Liza laughed with Jonas at some stupid joke they were probably going to forget in five minutes. Nico leaned forward, shoving his phone in his pocket when a response never came.

"Guys, where's Max? I need to speak to him."

Liza pointed to a staircase, laughing more at the joke from earlier. "In his bedroom, probably. Only room up there."

Nico thanked her, picking himself up off the couch and hurrying up the stairs, looking for the room that he was in before being stopped by a blonde that he was sure to recognize, in a second.

"Hey, Nico." She smirked at him, a knowing, calculating look on her face. "You lost?"

Nico shook his head, trying to walk past her but being stopped by her hand on his chest. "I'm looking for Max. You seen him... Sarah?" The name clicked, finally, and he finally knew where he recognized her from. She was Eden's best friend.

"No, I haven't. I think he bailed... Probably to see Eden, no doubt." Sarah said it so casually, but the knives in his chest just dug even deeper with the words. "She's never going to love you, you know. She's incapable of it. Nothing's going to change that... Not even giving Max a long deserved beating."

Nico's heart felt like it was feeling way too much, yet not at all. The words Sarah had told him ripping out every piece of him, only to put it back in a different order. The drugs, the alcohol, everything taking over him, overwhelming him like a hurricane. Sarah hooked a finger under the front of his jeans, pulling him lightly, not enough to move him, but enough to indicate where she was pulling him to.

The bedroom. And suddenly, his brain turned off. He needed a distraction, and if Eden wasn't going to respond to his texts, if she was going to sleep with Max, if she was going to use him like she has been, then surely, whatever he would do wouldn't matter.

Because it's not like they were together.

Because it's not like they were in love.

Because it's not like he fucking mattered to her at all.

Nico followed Sarah's direction, letting the door fall shut behind them.

--------------------------------------

Nico fastened his belt and sighed, reaching for his shirt and pulling it on. For the first time, ever, he felt disgusted with himself. Full of regret. He glanced over at Sarah for a second, before turning away.

"Eden's gonna be so pissed." Nico choked out, his throat hoarse from the different emotions that was swirling inside him. "She better not fucking find out. This was... a mistake. Such a mistake."

Nico pushed the bedroom door open, Sarah following him out and down the stairs, trying to say something that was lost in the crowd, something he didn't really care about hearing. He got to the last couple of steps before noticing the girl already standing there.

The girl he was trying to avoid hurting.

The girl who he just screwed everything up with.

Eden's face said more than words ever could, did more damage to him than he ever thought a look could do. His heart shattered, the numbness of the drugs and sex breaking the moment he laid eyes on her.

"There's only one thing up those stairs. One room. Are you serious? Nico?"

The words stabbed him like shattered glass, raining over him and pressing into every existing cut and making new ones. The girl behind him tried to speak up, tried to say something, but Nico didn't hear it. He didn't register the words, her being interrupted, her leaving. He couldn't.

"Eden..."

The words escaped his lips before he even had time to think about it, reaching forward before he could stop himself. He had to try to fix this. Had to try to do something.

He could see Liza and Jonas leaning against the wall, watching sympathetically, and he almost wanted to laugh. Of course they were still here. Of course they had to see this.

Eden backed up to avoid his grasp, the movement so simple, yet caused so much damage.

"No. You don't get to touch me. Not anymore."

Nico watched as she left the house, the rest of the room watching as if it was the new hit television show. Nico moved through the crowds and out of the house, Liza and Jonas following him, trying to make something better, at least. Liza led him to her car when they caught up with him, Nico sliding into the front seat, not a word being shared between them.

The silence in the car was deafening.