Chapter 1.6: Trouble

She thought that love was gonna fight
She thought that love was gonna take her home
She thought that love was gonna save her
But love just never showed
She thought that love was always watching
Oh we learned that love was supposed to win
But sometimes it's the demons
That are standing in the end

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Heels clicked on the pavement as the four stepped out of the car, the cold evening air nipping at their skin. Liza pressed a button on her car key, the locks sliding into place on the inside when she dropped her key into her purse. Nico leaned on the chilled metal with a sigh, crossing his arms.

"Where the fuck are they? They're gonna be late for the reservations."

Venus tapped on her phone, getting a response moments after sending her message. "Thomas says he's stuck in traffic." She looked around the group, curiosity written on her face. "Do we just go in and wait?"

Liza took a couple steps and nodded, the other three following her direction. She pushed the doors open, the clicking of heels on tiles echoing throughout the entrance. The host stood behind his podium, a smile wide on his face. Liza mentioned reservations, giving him their names as he led them through the restaurant and to a table.

The four sat in their seats, menus being placed in front of them as the host took their drink orders and left. The four flipped through their menus for a moment, before Venus broke the silence.

"I haven't gotten my letter in the mail yet, have either of you?"

She looked up from the booklet in front of her, worry filtering gently through her words. Nico shook his head, taking his drink when the waiter brought it. "Not yet, no. Don't worry, I'm sure we'll all get in."

Thomas had received is acceptance letters weeks ago, because he applied toward the end of junior year. The others had waited a little longer than they intended to, so they had yet to hear back. Nico and Liza weren't worried, but Venus had no other options. She hadn't applied to any other schools, because that was her only choice.

Nico took a long drink from his cup, filling the rest up with vodka from a flask he had brought and mixing it in. Liza glared at him from where she was sitting across from him, a smirk playing on his lips. He shrugged softly, taking a drink and keeping his eyes fixed on the redhead.

"Of course you'll get in, Venus. You have, what, the fifth highest GPA in our class? They can't turn that down."

Clara smiled at Venus, reaching out and lacing their fingers together. They stayed like that for a little too long, their eyes staying locked on each other's for a moment more than it needed to. A group of men passed by, the one in front laughing out a slur.

Nico's head shot around, the anger building, pushing over. "Excuse us?"

The group chuckled like they were watching an amusing sitcom on television, the situation irritating Nico. "I'm pretty sure you hear me, kid."

Nico kicked his chair back when he stood up, moving close to the guy who was speaking. "Say anything like that around me ever again, and you'll be leaving with a broken limb."

Venus shot up at his words, hands pressing against the table. "Nico, that is enough. Don't worry about them and let it go."

The man's demeanor has changed from a joking attitude to something that had Nico genuinely scared. He took a step toward Nico before backing off.

"You're gonna regret ever saying anything, kid."

The group walked off without another word, leaving the four of them in silence once again. Nico took a step back, finding his chair and sliding down into it. Venus sat back down, the waiter coming up to take their orders before they said they needed a couple more minutes.

Footsteps sounded through the restaurant, the two missing teens sliding into their seats and quickly opening the menus. Thomas had an apologetic look on his face when he looked over at them, smiling softly. "Sorry we're late. We got stuck in traffic... It was insane. Did we miss anything?"

Nico huffed, crossing his arms, visibly upset. Venus shook her head and looked over at the two.

"Nah. Nothing important."

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The music and lights pulsed through the room, bodies moving to the beat as Nico took one last drag of his cigarette, dropping it on the concrete and stepping out the flame. He walked with the other five of his friends, Jonas playing with the button on his suit jacket while Nico walked beside him, leaning over to whisper in his ear, handing him the flask Nico brought with him.

"Stressed?"

Jonas smiled and took the container, nonchalantly taking a swig before handing it back. He eased up a little bit, looking over at Thomas with a mixed expression, fondly, yet also worried. "I've, uh, never worn a suit before." Jonas laughed, clearing his throat and shrugging. "Or been on a real date. It's different. Not bad, though."

Nico's hand found his back, pushing him towards Thomas softly. "Go, have fun." Jonas looked back and laughed, walking in the direction Nico pushed him. Nico sent him a nod of encouragement, watching as Jonas met up with Thomas, a smile spreading across the latter's features.

Liza moved next to Nico without a word, taking a drink of the punch she had grabbed a couple moments before. "This is the happiest I've ever seen him." Liza smiled up at Nico, nudging into him lightly. "Cheer up, buttercup. It's prom. We're all happy. You should be, too."

Nico looked over at her, forcing a smile that he hoped felt genuine. "Of course I'm happy, L. C'mon, let's go dance." Nico took her hand, leading her to where the other students were grinding against each other so badly it was almost embarrassing to watch. Liza set her drink down on the closest table, her hands finding their way draped behind Nico's neck, moving in time with the music.

"I'm sorry about Eden."

Nico almost stopped moving, missing a beat of the song and messing up their rhythm when he heard the name. He cleared his throat before continuing with the conversation. "It's not your fault, Elisabeth. I slept with Sarah. I screwed up."

Her eyes softened while he spoke, Nico doing his best to avoid looking at her. His grip on her hips relaxed as he moved away from her before she could speak any more.

The music faded into silence, everything faded into silence. He couldn't hear the voices of the students around him, the music blasting throughout the room. He tried to make his way towards the exit, pulling out his flask and drowning himself in the feeling of alcohol washing away his sins, not taking a breath until the last drop was gone. He dropped it back in his pocket, looking around him, the silence built like a wall around him, nothing getting through.

"Nico."

Nothing getting through. Nothing except that small word that he didn't expect to hear, from the person he didn't expect to hear it from.

He turned around to find her in front him, his eyes adjusting from the blur to focus on her. She took a couple more steps towards him, smiling as she did so. Nico smiled back, leaning on the wall and looking over her. Her beauty took his breath away.

"Hey, Alicia."

She looked behind him, back towards to exit, then back at him, confused. "Are you leaving already?" She took another, careful step. He took a deep breath, looking at the door for a moment while the music filtered back into his brain, everything calming down, the feeling from earlier passing with every moment.

Nico shook his head, pushing himself off the stone wall and taking a step towards her and smiling.

"Nah. Not yet.

Would you like to dance?"

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Heels clicked on the pavement, Clara and Venus laughing with each other as Liza and Nico strolled calmly, wordlessly, peaceful silence falling over the two of them as they smiled at each other.

Liza was the first to break the silence, bumping into him with a small laugh while they walked.

"So, aren't you glad you went? You seemed to have a good time."

Nico chuckled with her, shrugging slightly. "It was okay. Better than sitting at home, drunk and miserable." He kicked a stone on the sidewalk that he passed, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and lighting one, taking a deep breath. "Walking back to our car in the cold is shit, though. You had to park two blocks away, why?"

Venus laughed at his remark, turning her head for a moment. "Too bad Tommy and Jonas left early. They could have made this trek with us."

Clara let out a small laugh, crossing her arms to combat the cold air. Nico was tempted to take his jacket off and hand it to her, but decided against it.

"Yeah, well, I doubt either of them are thinking 'too bad' right about now." Nico quipped, taking another pull from his cigarette, closing his eyes as the smoke filled his lungs. He exhaled slowly, dropping the end of the stick on the ground and pressing it out.

He checked the time on his phone, showing 1:18 in the morning. He pressed open the texts he received during the party, reading through a couple of the texts his father had sent him about bringing Clara home before he decided to go anywhere else.

He listened to a truck rev in the distance, speeding down the road. He turned around at the sound, looking confused at the noise, as to why anyone would be speeding down the road this loudly, at this time of night.

The driver yelled something indistinguishable, before pulling out a gun and firing two shots at them. The truck ran off into the distance, screams escaping from the teens lips, a soft sobbing from behind Nico.

Nico turned back around, finding Venus lying on the ground, unconscious, blood pooling around her. Nico pushed forward, dropping to the ground next to her, pulling her into his arms. He turned to the other two, who were still in shock from what had happened.

The world was shattering around them, but they had no time to stop moving.

"Call an ambulance, Liza. Now."

He pulled Venus closer to her, trying his best to stop the blood but he couldn't find where it was coming from, and it was getting everywhere. It was all over him, all over her, all over the ground, and he didn't know what to fucking do.

"You'll be okay, Vee. You'll, fuck, you'll be okay. I promise."

He could feel tears welling in his eyes, starting to fall down, dropping onto her dress. He could see the tears mixing with the dark scarlet, yelling one more time.


"Ambulance. Where the fuck is it?"

Chapter 1.5: Saturday Night

Cause God knows I've made all my own choices

And if I drown alone it's cause I choose

To spend my time drinking in the stairwells

When we've both got way too much to prove

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The sunlight draped over the room, surrounding the dress in a warm glow that displayed all the best qualities, the gems sparkling with each movement. Venus finished tying the tie on her school uniform, the dress she had chosen for prom hanging on her closet door, ready for the weekend that was just ahead.

Footsteps echoed up the stairs, heels clicking against the wooden floor of her hallway, making their way to her bedroom. Venus grabbed her bag from where it sat on her bed, slinging it over her shoulder as the girl entered the room.

Liza looked over at the dress with amazement, a smile forming across her features. Venus laughed, smug with her choice. She's picked out the basics of the dress, and made the rest herself. None of her other friends had seen it since she had finished a couple days ago.

"Wow, Vee. This looks..." Liza tore her eyes away from the dress, back over to the redhead. Venus moved from where she was standing and over to her friend, leaning on the wall while Liza searched for the word. "It's perfect. Seriously."

Venus shrugged with feign arrogance, smiling and walking past Liza. "I know." Venus didn't have to look to know her friend was following her. She descended the stairs, making her way to the kitchen to grab something for to eat for breakfast.

Venus's mother was standing in front of the counter, typing on the keys of her laptop quickly, taking a moment to notice her daughter's presence. She turned around when Venus opened the fridge, smiling at the girls. "Hello, Venus. Hello, Elisabeth."

Liza waved and smiled at Ms. Wright, pulling a bottle of tea out of the fridge and opening it. Liza took a drink out of the bottle, leaning against the counter. The lady continued on, "So, have the four of you cemented your plans for Saturday?"

Venus nodded, taking a bite of the apple she grabbed. "The six of us, actually. I'm taking Clara, and Thomas is... wait, has Thomas asked yet?" Liza shook her head, a chuckle escaping Venus's lips. "Of course he hasn't. Well, hopefully six. I couldn't imagine them saying no to Tommy, though."

Liza pushed herself off the counter when Venus shut the fridge, thanking Ms. Wright for the tea and following Venus as she led her out of the house. "Speaking of, though. Have you told Clara yet? How you feel?"

Venus opened the passenger side door to Liza's car and climbed in, leaning back and taking another bite out of her apple. "No, not yet. I'll get there, though."

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The alcohol slid down his throat with too much ease, especially this early in the morning. Nico shook the empty bottle and sighed, throwing it in the trash can and walking into the school.  He'd been getting rides from Jonas every morning on account of being too intoxicated, all the time. Clara brushed past him, heading to her first class that she was complaining about being late for.

A figure caught his eye, walking through the hallways. Her black hair tied back, and his heart sunk for a moment until he was distracted by a hand on his shoulder, Jonas smiling at him and pushing him further into the building.

"Get over her, man. Prom's in a couple days, Graduation's next week, and then we have all summer to distract ourselves until college, where we never have to see her again." Jonas let go of Nico with a smile, Nico cracking a grin himself. "I've got to get to class, but I'll see you later."

Jonas turned away from him, walking through the hallways and towards his class. Nico sauntered through the hall, stopping in front of his art class and gripping the handle, pushing it open slowly.

The teacher glared at him with a look of disapproval, but didn't say anything. Nico avoided their gaze and sat down next to Alicia, pulling out the piece they'd been working on. "Hey, Nico." Alicia smiled at him, her pencil gliding across the page. Nico began to sketch on his paper, the drunken ideas pouring out of him and onto the page.

"Hey, Alicia. You going to prom?" Nico asked, the only question that anyone seemed to be asking anymore. High schoolers were so predictable, it was ridiculous. Alicia nodded, setting her pencil down  and looking over at him.

"Yeah, I am. Are you?" Nico nodded. He'd tried to get out of it, but they'd already made the arrangements, and Liza caused hell when he said he decided not to. What's the worst that could happen, Nico? So, he had to go with his friends, even if he didn't want to. "That's good. Who are you going with? Eden?"

Nico's chest sunk with the name, taking a minute to process an answer. He took a deep breath before speaking. "Uh, no, actually. We aren't... together, anymore." Alicia's face looked sympathetic from the corner of his eyes, and he avoided looking the best he could.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Alicia paused for a beat before continuing, picking up her pencil and shading. "Maybe I'll see you there."

Nico smirked at her. "Yeah, maybe."

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Thomas waited by the door to the classroom for the bell to ring, the clock above him ticking down the seconds. He played with the strap on his bag, trying to quell the butterflies in his stomach. The bell sounded through the halls, students pouring in through the doors, Thomas waiting for the one he needed.

Thomas reached for the arm of the student who walked out the door, pulling them to him. "Hey, Jonas. Can we talk." The look in Jonas's eyes showed that he'd been waiting for this moment, that he knew it was going to happen. He nodded, stepping closer to Thomas. "I was, uh, wondering, if you didn't have plans... Did you want to go to prom with me? And my friends, but, like, as my date?"

Jonas chuckled, stepping forward a pace and playing with the button on Thomas's vest. He was enjoying watching the boy fluster under his grip, struggling to formulate words. "That depends, Tommy. Can we finish what we started the other week?"

Thomas leaned forward so that they were close, so that he could whisper what he was going to say next.

"Maybe if you play your cards right."

Jonas laughed softly, taking a step back with a smirk. "Alright, then. You've got yourself a deal." Thomas smiled at his answer, fixing the bag strap on his shoulder when the warning bell rang. "Now, get to class. Our valedictorian can't be late, can he?"

Thomas walked past Jonas with a chuckle, striding through the halls until he found the class he needed to get to and sliding into the seat next to Venus. "He said yes." Thomas smiled at her, pulling out his notebook and scrawling down the notes that were on the board.

Venus smiled at the news, nudging him in the side. "I knew he would. Don't doubt me." Thomas rolled his eyes at her remark, marking out an incorrect sentence he had written down. "So, I assume you'll be taking your truck and meet us at the restaurant?"

Thomas nodded, scrawling down the last couple sentences and turning to her. "We're graduating soon, and that's insane."

Venus smiled at him, pushing a couple of strands of hair behind her ear. "It's the start of the rest of our lives."

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 Clara fixed the strap on her dress, looking at herself in the mirror and smiling. She spun once, watching as the dress twirled with her, a laugh escaping her lips. Steps echoed through the hall, Nico knocking on her already open door when he reached her room.

"Hey, Clara. Can we talk?"

Clara smiled at him, taking in her brother's suit. It was well fitted and really nice, but even it didn't make him look any less like hell. He's been on a downward spiral, and even if he's been trying to hide it from Clara, it wasn't working. She could see how much he was breaking.

"Of course, Nico. What's up?" Clara sat on the edge of her bed, gesturing for her brother to sit with her. He stepped through the room, dropping on the bed roughly. Clara could see how drained he was, his emotions were tearing him apart and he didn't know how to deal with it.

"You know how she feels about you, right? Venus?" Nico said, more blunt than he meant to. He didn't do it to hurt anyone, he just wanted to protect Clara, and Venus, from getting hurt tonight due to some communications. "She likes you, a lot."

Clara laughed softly, leaning back on the bed. "Yeah, I know. You don't have to worry about it, Nico." Clara knew about Venus's crush for a while, and she had thought a lot about it. Venus was nice, and Clara liked her. She wasn't necessarily gay, but she didn't have to figure it all out right now. She was young. She had time. "Whatever happens tonight, happens."

Clara pushed herself off the bed, standing over Nico and smiling. Nico barely had time to stand up before his phone chimed, a text from Liza telling him they were there to pick him up. Nico motioned for the door, stepping out of the room, Clara following him.

They stepped down the stairs, a comfortable silence falling over them. Nico slowed when they got close to the door, stopping right in front of it and turning to Clara.

"You look beautiful, by the way. We're gonna have fun tonight. I promise."

Chapter 1.4: Slip Away

(A/N: This might be triggering for some people, so just a warning ahead. Remember, it's not consent if someone's intoxicated, and it's not consent if someone has to lie to get it. I love you. It gets better.

Also, read over at Hide and Seek so everything makes more sense.)

--------------------------------------------

When what we love we burn

It's from the ashes that we yearn

To be the phoenix that rises up from the flames

--------------------------------

Liza's fingers hovered over the keys of hey laptop, the words dancing around in her head, evading her grasp. The words on the page seemed to merge together, making less and less sense as she reread.

Shouting from the other room filtered into her bedroom, her parents arguing, again, about stupid shit, again. The fighting would have torn her apart by now, but she built a wall, one she was never going to let break.

She was going to protect herself from pain by making sure she never felt a thing.

Liza started typing again, a couple words finding their way onto the page before a crash was heard from the room below. Liza jolted out of her seat, closing her laptop and putting it in her bag. She groaned in frustration, pulling her bag over her shoulders and opening the window, climbing down and dropping onto the grass.

Liza pulled out her cell phone, dialing the long-familiar number and pressing it to her ear, walking to her car and opening to door. The line clicked and the other person mumbled "what's up?"

"Hey, Nico." Liza started the ignition, the engine purring to life as she pulled out of the driveway, the car driving down the road on it's way to her destination. "If you're busy, cancel your plans. I'm coming over."
Nico knew better than to argue, so he just grumbled in agreement, hanging up and leaving Liza silent in her drive. She zoned out in her drive, the road so familiar she could drive it without thinking.

Her parents were constantly fighting, her father constantly cheating, but they wouldn't call it quits. They wouldn't just hang up the fucking towel and get divorced.

She blocked herself off, the only thing that could make her feel anymore was sex. She didn't care who it was with, where, why, as long as she was getting her fix, she didn't mind.

Her car pulled into the driveway that led to Nico's home, parking quickly and turning off the engine. She grabbed her bag and stepped off the car, looking for his parent's cars and heading inside when she didn't see them, climbing the flight of stairs that led to his room.

She pushed the door open, putting her bag on the ground and walking over to his bed, where Nico was laying, playing on his phone. She reached over, taking his phone out of his hands and moving on top of him, heading in for a kiss before Nico stopped her, pushing her off of him.

"Wait, Liza, that's not what I wanted to do."

Liza sighed from above, falling off of him and onto the bed. They hadn't done anything for weeks, because Liza was too wrapped up in the stress of her family and finals, and Nico had been too wrapped up in...
"Eden?" Liza asked, annoyed at the fact that she hadn't noticed it before. She knew they were banging, but she never noticed how serious he was about her.

"Yeah. We're... I dunno. We're complicated." Nico turned to face her, sighing. He really liked Eden, a lot more than he should, but she never let anyone in. She pushed everyone away.

"Well, this trip was... pointless. I'll call Max, I guess. At least he doesn't have stupid emotions." Liza pushed herself off the bed, leaning against the wall as Nico sat up.

"Liza. You're welcome to stay and talk, if you want."

Liza scoffed at his suggestion, grabbing her bag from off the ground and stepping out of the room.

"Too bad I don't."

----------------------------------------

Nico slammed the door to Eden's house, the anger, the hurt he felt, burning inside of him, eating him alive. He fell too hard for the girl who can't fall at all.

He should have known better. Eden was a disaster, destroying everything she touched. There was no way he could fix that.

But he damn sure tried. He tried to see past the walls, the cracks, the thorns. He almost thought he did, until she slept with Max, of all people.

Nico dug through his pockets, pulling out his phone and dialing the person best for this situation.

"Hey, Jonas. You got any more x? I need some. Badly."

The voice on the other side spoke through, voices in the background chattering through. It took Nico a moment to place why there were voices, until he realized that Jonas was at a party. Of course, because where else would a drug dealer be.

"Yeah, I'm, uh, I'm actually-fuck, hold on..." Nico heard a bunch of clatter on the other end, and then silence. "Yeah, I've got some. I'm at a party, want me to hold on to a couple?"

Nico mumbled out a confirmation and you could practically hear Jonas's grin on the other side. "Awesome, so, how many of you?"

Nico shook his head, walking to his car and opening the door. "No Thomas, sorry. Just me."

Jonas chuckled on the other end as Nico started the engine. "Well, tell him to actually try talking to me sometimes. Watching him stare at me from across the lunch table is amusing and all, but it's not enough." Nico let out a laugh, putting the park in reverse when Jonas finally chimed in. "Oh, right, by the way, I'm at a party in, uh, who's house... hold on, Liza knows, she brought me."

Nico felt a pang in his stomach, the anticipation of the answer overwhelming him for just a moment. Nico could hear Liza's voice in the background, a quiet mumble.

"Max something or another, she says you should know which one. I'll be here, just... Text me. I'll bring it to you."


Nico smirked as an idea formulated in his head. "Perfect." He slid the end call button, setting his phone down and driving towards the place he's only been a couple times.

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-You love me.-

Eden's text vibrated through his phone, the conversation they were having showing on his screen like a bad taste in his mouth. He'd come here to get high and confront Max, and that's what he did. Get high, anyway. He couldn't find the asshole anywhere.

He typed out a couple more texts, pressing send without regret.

-Does it matter what I say? We both know.-

Liza laughed with Jonas at some stupid joke they were probably going to forget in five minutes. Nico leaned forward, shoving his phone in his pocket when a response never came.

"Guys, where's Max? I need to speak to him."
Liza pointed to a staircase, laughing more at the joke from earlier. "In his bedroom, probably. Only room up there."

Nico thanked her, picking himself up off the couch and hurrying up the stairs, looking for the room that he was in before being stopped by a blonde that he was sure to recognize, in a second.

"Hey, Nico." She smirked at him, a knowing, calculating look on her face. "You lost?"

Nico shook his head, trying to walk past her but being stopped by her hand on his chest. "I'm looking for Max. You seen him... Sarah?" The name clicked, finally, and he finally knew where he recognized her from. She was Eden's best friend.
"No, I haven't. I think he bailed... Probably to see Eden, no doubt." Sarah said it so casually, but the knives in his chest just dug even deeper with the words. "She's never going to love you, you know. She's incapable of it. Nothing's going to change that... Not even giving Max a long deserved beating."

Nico's heart felt like it was feeling way too much, yet not at all. The words Sarah had told him ripping out every piece of him, only to put it back in a different order. The drugs, the alcohol, everything taking over him, overwhelming him like a hurricane. Sarah hooked a finger under the front of his jeans, pulling him lightly, not enough to move him, but enough to indicate where she was pulling him to.

The bedroom. And suddenly, his brain turned off. He needed a distraction, and if Eden wasn't going to respond to his texts, if she was going to sleep with Max, if she was going to use him like she has been, then surely, whatever he would do wouldn't matter.

Because it's not like they were together.

Because it's not like they were in love.

Because it's not like he fucking mattered to her at all.

Nico followed Sarah's direction, letting the door fall shut behind them.
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Nico fastened his belt and sighed, reaching for his shirt and pulling it on. For the first time, ever, he felt disgusted with himself. Full of regret. He glanced over at Sarah for a second, before turning away.

"Eden's gonna be so pissed." Nico choked out, his throat hoarse from the different emotions that was swirling inside him. "She better not fucking find out. This was... a mistake. Such a mistake."

Nico pushed the bedroom door open, Sarah following him out and down the stairs, trying to say something that was lost in the crowd, something he didn't really care about hearing. He got to the last couple of steps before noticing the girl already standing there.

The girl he was trying to avoid hurting.

The girl who he just screwed everything up with.
Eden's face said more than words ever could, did more damage to him than he ever thought a look could do. His heart shattered, the numbness of the drugs and sex breaking the moment he laid eyes on her.

"There's only one thing up those stairs. One room. Are you serious? Nico?"

The words stabbed him like shattered glass, raining over him and pressing into every existing cut and making new ones. The girl behind him tried to speak up, tried to say something, but Nico didn't hear it. He didn't register the words, her being interrupted, her leaving. He couldn't.

"Eden..."

The words escaped his lips before he even had time to think about it, reaching forward before he could stop himself. He had to try to fix this. Had to try to do something.

He could see Liza and Jonas leaning against the wall, watching sympathetically, and he almost wanted to laugh. Of course they were still here. Of course they had to see this.

Eden backed up to avoid his grasp, the movement so simple, yet caused so much damage.

"No. You don't get to touch me. Not anymore."
Nico watched as she left the house, the rest of the room watching as if it was the new hit television show. Nico moved through the crowds and out of the house, Liza and Jonas following him, trying to make something better, at least. Liza led him to her car when they caught up with him, Nico sliding into the front seat, not a word being shared between them.

The silence in the car was deafening.

Chapter 1.3: Any Other Heart

You came with lipstick and some bruises and another's arms

And left my world a little darker, and left my heart a little harder

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The television played, muted, in the background, the light giving their features a warm glow as Thomas scrawled across the notebook he had on his lap, looking up at the other three and rolling his eyes as he saw they were too invested in Kitchen Nightmares to join Thomas in writing their English essays.

“Guys… We need this to graduate. You realize that, right?”

Nico waved a hand dismissively as Thomas reached for the remote, pressing the power button and watching as the screen turned black. Nico and Liza turned around to glare at him, Venus laughing from where she was sitting next to him. Thomas slipped the remote behind him, kicking Nico into a sitting position and handing the notebook to Venus.

“How’s it look so far?”

Venus skimmed the neat writing, nodding softly and handing it back to Thomas. “Brilliant, as always.” Venus smiled at him, scrawling on the draft of the essay she had been slowly working on since they’d arrived in Thomas’s room.

They were graduating in a little over four months, and so far, only Thomas had been accepted into the college all four of them had applied to. They all had plans, but Thomas had always been the one to realize his plans. He was Valedictorian, the smartest in his class, the one who was bound to go places.

Except he had no idea where he wanted to go in life. He had plans, but he wasn’t sure if they were the plans he wanted, or his parents wanted for him. He was lost, and confused, and scared. The weight of the future was sitting on his shoulders, and it was crushing him.

“I think we need a break.” Liza slid off the bed, grabbing a hoodie from Thomas’s closet and throwing it over her tank top and pulling the keys to her car out of her jeans pocket, dangling them in front of the group. "C’mon, midnight snack run. Let’s go.”

Thomas sighed with discontent, dropping his notebook down on the bed and kicking his legs over, pushing himself off the bed. His feet hit the ground and he reached over to pull his shoes on as the others scrambled to get their belongings.

Liza led the way, as usual, Nico and Venus following behind her as they walked quietly through the back hallway, sneaking out the back door and into the chilly night air. Thomas clutched his jacket closer to his skin, a shiver escaping through his teeth.

Venus slowed her pace to fall in stride with him, hooking her arm with his and smiling at him, her head dropping back as she focused on the stars, or lack thereof.

"You know, when I was 10, I spent a summer in Wisconsin once with my... Uncle? Someone close to my mother. They lived on this farm in the middle of nowhere, and every night, you could see every single star in the sky. I liked to pretend they were guardian angels, watching over us. Coming back to the city after that, it was different. I would sneak out in the middle of the night to try to catch a glimpse of them, but I never could."

Thomas looked up in the sky, a blank canvas staring back down at him. He tried to imagine stars filling the sky, and a sense of hopelessness fell over him. "So, what?" He whispered out, looking back over at his friend. "Are the angels gone? The sky's blank."

Venus just laughed.

"No. It just means the angels are hiding, so they can take care of you better."

Thomas rolled his eyes at the optimist, a grin spreading across his face. "Yeah, sure."

Venus looked back over at him, peaceful silence falling over them, before being broken by Nico shouting for them.

"Tommy, Vee, let's gooo. We don't have long."

The two climbed into the back of Liza's car, Thomas buckling his seat belt despite everyone else leaving theirs alone. Liza started the car, the engine rushing to life. She backed out quickly, running over the curb and pushing the car into drive, speeding down the road.

"Where are we even going?" Thomas leaned forward, unbuckling his seat belt. "I have to finish that essay, still, you know."

Liza and Nico chuckled to themselves, Liza letting out a small "you'll see" and refusing to answer anything else. Thomas fell back into his seat, crossing his arms, disgruntled.

"It'll be alright, Tommy. You still have three weeks to complete that essay. You'll be fine."

Nico's voice found it's way back to them, Thomas's eyes rolling at his statement. "Plus, the homework I get from all my AP classes, and the Valedictorian speech I have to write, and all the reservations I have to make for prom, which is in three weeks, if you didn't realize. I have a lot to do and I have very little time."

Nico's annoying grin stayed throughout his outburst, and Thomas groaned at the lack of response. The car slowed as they arrived at their destination, Thomas looking out the window and taking in the view. There were no stores around, and everything was run down and dark. It took Thomas a moment to realize why they were there.

"Oh... my God, seriously? A drug run?" Thomas stepped out of the car and sighed in frustration, leaning back on the cold surface of the metal as the rest of the teens climbed out of the vehicle. Liza pressed a couple buttons on her phone, sending a text out. A voice echoed from a building, the form hidden by the shadows.

"Took you guys long enough." The boy stepped away from the darkness, the street lamps above illuminating his features. He smirked at Venus and Thomas, since they seemed to be the only two who didn't know him. His eyes kept long on Thomas's, a half-smile growing on his face. "Hey, I'm Jonas. Nice to meet you."

Thomas knew he looked familiar, but he couldn't place it. Liza noticed the confusion on his face, speaking up. "He goes to our school, he received a full scholarship earlier in the year." The pieces clicked in the strawberry blonde's head, and he nodded.

"Oh, right. Hey, I'm Thomas." He broke eye contact then, moving on to Venus. She introduced herself and the boy pulled out a small baggie of pills. Five were in the small piece of plastic, and Thomas averted his eyes so that he was looking away from the bag, and the boy holding them.

"They're free, on one condition. I come with you."

Liza laughed at the response, looking at the count of pills. "Five, one for each of us. You know what, you've got a deal. Let's go to my house, my parents should be out for the night. We have to place to ourselves."

Jonas and Nico cracked a grin, and the group filed into the car as quickly as they got out. The drive took only a couple of minutes, sitting in an uncomfortable silence all the way.

The group stumbled through the house, the Liza checking all the rooms and making sure it was empty. When they made sure, Jonas passed the pills around, and they each took them when it got to them.

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The world swam around them, the laughter echoing off the walls and around the room. The mood was better than before, the stress practically gone. Thomas leaned on the wall, a smile on his face as the other four stumbled through the halls, chasing after each other with a laugh.

Thomas pushed himself off the surface, stepping through the hall and into a room. Jonas followed him, quietly, as the door fell shut behind them. Jonas cleared his throat to get Thomas's attention, watching as he spun around with a grin.

"Oh, hey, Jonas. I was just about to use the bathroom." Thomas pointed to the door that led to the bathroom, running his hands through his hair and laughing. He dropped his arms, avoiding looking at Jonas as much as he could. "What did you need?"

Jonas smirked, taking a couple steps forward to Thomas. "Nothing. Just wanted to chat." Jonas stopped taking steps, shoving his hands into his pockets. The two chewed on their gum, the laughter from the other three ricocheting in the room. Jonas let his hoodie slide off of him, throwing it onto the chair nearest him. "Did you know, ecstasy is called the love drug, because it elevates sex drive and makes you crave human intimacy?"

Thomas nodded at the question, unsure in his haze if it was meant to be rhetoric. Of course he knew what x did, this wasn't his first time. He loved the drug, but at the same time, he hated it. He hated how it made him feel, who it made him want.

He knew, of course, that it wasn't the drug that made him gay. He was gay sober, too, as much as he tried to deny it. He tried not to be the person he was, because he knew it was the person he shouldn't be.

"You don't have to be..." Jonas grasped at the words, pity filling his voice. He obviously noticed the expression on Thomas's face, the expression of shame and guilt. "Ashamed. You don't have to be ashamed, Thomas. There's nothing wrong with it. With you."

"How'd you know?" Thomas whispered it, unsure if Jonas had even heard him until he placed a hand on his arm. That grin of his showed up again, the devil-may-care look in his eyes that he rarely seemed to lose.

"I knew because I've been where you are. Ashamed, afraid. You don't have to be." Thomas looked back up at him, their eyes making contact for the first time since outside, earlier in the night.

They stayed looking at each other for a couple seconds, locked in that one moment, until they broke it, their lips meeting together with a force and passion Thomas didn't know he was capable of. His hands reached for Jonas's hips, picking him up and sliding his hands under his legs, leaning Jonas against the wall as Jonas reached for the hem of his shirt, pulling it off of himself and reaching for Thomas's, his legs wrapping around his waist. The strawberry blonde's shirt came off him just as quickly as the other's did, his legs carrying them to the bed placed against the wall.

Jonas fell flat against the bed, pulling Thomas with him as he reached for the button on his jeans, unhooking it as quickly as he could and pushing them off of himself with his shoes. Jonas reached for the button on Thomas's jeans, starting to unbutton it until the door swung open, Liza, Nico, and Venus standing on the other side.

"Hey, guys, we're gonna order some---holy shit."

Nico's words stopped just as quickly as they began, Venus ducking out of the doorway and Liza following her. Nico's face displayed the only emotion that he was capable of in that moment; shock.

Jonas reached for his jeans, pulling them on and stepping off the bed, pushing Nico out the door with the repeated phrase of "get out, get the fuck out." Jonas shut the door, leaning on the panel and locking the doorknob.

Thomas was stuck in the same position he was when they walked in, shock completely paralyzing him. Jonas tried to say something, but couldn't get a word out.

Thomas hadn't told them. This wasn't the way he intended to come out to his best friends. This... sucked.

Jonas reached for the clothes strewn across the floor, handing Thomas his shirt and pulling his on. "I should have locked the door. I'm sorry."

Thomas grabbed his clothes, buckling his jeans and sliding on his jacket over his shirt. "Yeah, you should have." Thomas walked past Jonas, opening the door and leaving him alone.

-------------------------------------------

Thomas drummed his fingers against the steering wheel of his truck, hot air blowing out of the vents as he sat in Nico's driveway, Nico, Liza, and Venus inside the house. He had missed two days of school, avoided them, this moment, as much as he could.

The radio played soft pop music throughout the cab of the truck. Thomas laid his head back on the seat and tried to muster up the courage to go inside when his phone rang. He slid the unlock button, reading the text message from Venus.

-You ever gonna come inside?-

Thomas typed out a quick text, hesitating over the send button for a couple seconds before pressing down.

-Maybe.-

Thomas switched off the engine, taking a couple deep breaths before opening the door and stepping out. He walked up to the door, knocking lightly. Nico's father opened the door and smiled, letting Thomas in. He walked the familiar path to Nico's room, taking another deep breath before knocking on the wood. The door opened almost immediately after, Nico holding the door open for him. Venus smiled at him from the bed, letting Thomas sit down next to her. Liza leaned against the wall, a soft expression on her face when he looked up.

"We have to talk." Thomas whispered out. his voice soft and filled with fear. His gaze dropped to the floor, and he knew that this was it. This was the moment he's been afraid of for so long, tried to avoid as much as possible. It was judgement day, and he couldn't get out of it.

"Yeah." Liza said, and he could hear the care in her voice. She was always so fiery, he'd never heard her talk with so much empathy. "We love you, Thomas. You know that."

Thomas nodded, because he did. He knew that they would love him, no matter what. Nico continued, a different side of him showing, a more protective side. "So, are you...?"

"Gay. I'm gay." Thomas answered, sinking into himself the moment the words left his mouth. Venus's arms wrapped around him, her head resting against his.

"So, are you, like, into Jonas?" Liza asked, her arms crossing over her chest. Thomas shrugged, because he didn't know. He's known Jonas for, like, 5 minutes. He was attracted to him, but he didn't know if he actually liked him.

"Well, we're going out tonight, because we need to and I know of a party." Nico reverted back to his usual self, beaming at the three of them. "Liza, invite Jonas. Venus is driving. Let's go."